How The Bear helped a former waitress make peace with a traumatic hospitality job
A woman who avoided restaurants for years after a disastrous stint as a waitress in the Cotswolds says the TV series The Bear helped her reframe that experience and reshape her attitude to work.
Eight years ago, the author worked as a waitress at a fine dining restaurant in the Cotswolds. The job was gruelling: she struggled to recall wine pairings, kitchen staff shouted at her over mistakes, and on one occasion she accidentally spilled water into a guest's lap while serving an influencer. That incident led her to quit the job entirely, and for years afterward she avoided formal restaurants, even insisting on pub dates rather than sit-down dinners.
The experience left a lasting mark, making her feel hopeless about work in general and fostering apathy toward employment after she finished waitressing.
The show's impact
Later, overhearing her boyfriend watching the acclaimed kitchen drama The Bear triggered anxious memories of her old job. She initially refused to watch it, partly because the show's lead character, Carmy, played by Jeremy Allen White, resembled her former head chef.
Over time, however, she came to appreciate how the series portrays high-stress kitchen moments with honesty and humour, which made her own past experiences seem funny in retrospect rather than traumatic.
A particular turning point was the season two episode "Forks", in which the character Richie, initially dismissive of a menial task, gradually learns the value of respecting staff and guests, ultimately finding satisfaction in serving others.
That episode reshaped her broader outlook on work. She went on to become a writer and has since tried to put effort into her work regardless of setbacks. She has also returned to her old restaurant as a customer, making a point of being especially kind to the waiting staff.
