A forgotten children's book unlocked grief for a father's death

The Guardian has published a personal essay in which a literature lecturer recounts how a forgotten children's book helped him cope with his father's death. The author explains that his father had struggled with alcoholism for most of his life. Just before Christmas, his father was hospitalized for the last time; his liver failed and he died within days.

At the time, the author was finishing a lecture series on early children's literature. He came across "Mrs Leicester's School", a collection of stories mostly written by Mary Lamb, with contributions by her brother Charles. Many of the child narrators in the book have lost parents. Mary Lamb is remembered for killing her mother with a knife in 1796 during a mental breakdown; Charles became her legal guardian to keep her out of prison.

The author was particularly moved by the story "Elizabeth Villiers", also called "The Sailor Uncle". After the death of Elizabeth's mother, her father rarely shows emotion and locks himself in his study. When her sailor uncle returns from the sea, she takes him to her mother's grave. The uncle's intense grief triggers the father's first visible tears. The father later tells Elizabeth that losing someone teaches us to be as kind as possible to those we love, because after they are gone, we will always feel we were not kind enough.

While reading this passage to his class, the author realized he had been crying for some time. The students were attentive; one girl, with tears on her cheeks, nodded slowly. The essay suggests that this Victorian book helped the author access grief for a father he had felt he lost long ago, and reminded him that love takes many forms and makes life worth living.