Iveta and Ralfs Rubenis: 35 Years Together, Married After 25
The leader of Latvian band "Tranzīts", Ralfs Rubenis, and his wife Iveta reveal the keys to their successful relationship: communication, understanding, and shared travels. The couple married after 25 years of living together.
Iveta and Ralfs Rubenis have been together for 35 years, but married for only ten. They met on a train when Ralfs was studying in Jelgava and noticed a blonde girl boarding at Aizkraukle station. Through friends, he found out her name, and later they met at the Stāmeriena club "Alianse," where Ralfs worked as a DJ. He invited Iveta on a date and talked about farm work, livestock, and barns. Iveta was initially unsure, but Ralfs fought for her – it was the first time he had done so.
Iveta soon moved to Stāmeriena. Together, they built two buildings: a family house (a German project from a magazine) and a utility building with a garage, boiler room, sauna, and Ralfs' "man cave." The only arguments they've had were about the bathroom arrangement. Iveta is social and recharges at events, while Ralfs enjoys cycling alone or watching tadpoles.
They have two children – daughter Patrīcija, now a dancer for Tranzīts, and son Niks. Iveta was only 17 when their daughter was born, and the family lived in a small room with a baby cot and Ralfs' piano. They raised their children responsibly but allowed them to express themselves – for example, they let their daughter go through an emo phase. The only strict demand was finishing music school.
After 25 years of cohabitation, the couple married in Madona in 2016. The wedding was quiet – even their parents didn't know, only the children and witnesses. Ralfs admits he hadn't fully understood the meaning of relationships until then, but after the wedding, a great peace set in. Iveta notes that the last ten years have been very good, and their relationship has become more qualitative.
Ralfs often helps Iveta in her work as a concert organizer – he listens and asks if she wants advice or just to talk. Music is their common language: songs "Kā agrāk" (2004) and "Zelta būrītis" are dedicated to Iveta, and she is the first to hear new works. Ralfs writes music at night, sometimes until four in the morning, and Iveta understands.
The couple travels a lot – they have been to Madeira, where Iveta overcame her fear of heights, and in 2024 they hiked the Caminito del Rey in Spain. They attend concerts: Michael Bublé in Poland was Iveta's gift; they flew to Milan with their daughter to see Tiziano Ferro, and last year they were at a Justin Timberlake concert in Tallinn. Ralfs believes that traveling together early in a relationship helps see the other in non-standard situations.
Ralfs listens to podcasts and studies how to improve relationships. He thinks people often wear rose-colored glasses and ignore red flags, but communication is key – don't let things slide. The Rubenis couple's key is understanding that women need security and love, while men need to be understood. Ralfs jokes that men are as simple as a rake. Stāmeriena Palace is special to them – many concerts have taken place there, including Tranzīts' 25th and 30th anniversaries. Ralfs recommends all men take their princess to the Star Day ball to see her happy.
