Hosting Guests: Experts Say Warmth Matters More Than a Spotless Home
The magazine Real Simple asked etiquette specialists and psychologists about hospitality at home. Their advice: hosts' warmth and guests' comfort count for more than flawless order.
When guests are on their way, many people scrub and tidy every corner of the home. The U.S. magazine Real Simple asked etiquette experts Lizzie Post and Nick Leighton, environmental design psychologist Sally Augustin, and Hope College professor Benjamin R. Meagher, who studies hospitality, what really matters. Their conclusion: a host's attitude does more to make visitors feel good than an interior fit for a magazine photo.
What to clean
Post stresses that a luxurious or spacious home is not required. The focus should be on the areas guests will actually use: wiping kitchen counters, cleaning the bathroom and leaving room for guests' belongings. Leighton says he would rather have a clean home than a perfectly organized one. A pile of mail or an untidy basement is not a problem.
Augustin notes that overly sterile spaces often make people uneasy, as they fear touching or breaking something.
Making guests feel welcome
Meagher explains that in an unfamiliar home a person loses some control over the surroundings and does not know where to sit or where to find a drink. The phrase "Make yourself at home!" is therefore not always enough. The experts advise telling guests where to park, leave coats and whether to remove shoes, and showing them the drinks and snacks. Overnight guests should be shown the guest room.
Five steps are suggested for a cozier atmosphere:
- remove unpleasant odors, empty the trash and air out the rooms;
- use warmer, softer lighting;
- add houseplants, flowers and wood textures;
- arrange chairs at an angle rather than directly facing each other;
- lower the thermostat by a few degrees before guests arrive.
Overnight stays and apologies
Post recommends being honest about sleeping arrangements when inviting, providing clean towels, fresh bedding and extra pillows, and asking about allergies and dietary needs. Leighton urges hosts to stop constantly apologizing for a pile of shoes or a few toys, though real mistakes, such as dinner served late, deserve an apology.
Leighton also suggests finishing preparations at least 30 minutes before guests arrive and using the time to rest, since a host's stress quickly spreads to visitors.
