Study: People Who Cut Off Contact Feel Worse Than the Other Side Assumes
Researchers from the Universities of California and Cambridge found in three studies that people who "ghost" others often feel guilt, embarrassment and regret. A brief message saying they cannot talk now reduced misunderstanding.
A research team led by scientists from the Universities of California and Cambridge has studied ghosting, the practice of deliberately ignoring someone, avoiding a meeting or not responding to attempts to get in touch. The findings, published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, encourage looking at the phenomenon from the side of the person who stops communicating.
What was studied
The scientists carried out three separate studies. They looked at real-life experience, imagined scenarios and interaction online.
What they found
In all three studies, people who had been cut off tended to assume that the other person had been indifferent to the relationship or had simply moved on with their life. In reality, many of those who stopped communicating said they felt bad about it, experiencing guilt, embarrassment and regret.
The distress was especially pronounced when the break in contact was unintentional, for example when a person forgot to reply or put off answering for too long.
The role of social networks
Deliberately ignoring someone is not new, and in earlier centuries people also stopped communicating for no obvious reason or dropped out of sight. In the digital age, however, the problem is more visible, because social networks seemingly make it possible to reach anyone at any time. For this reason, many people see ghosting as an act aimed directly at them.
What helps
The researchers found that even a short message, such as "sorry, I can't talk right now," helped reduce the emotional misunderstanding between both sides.
